This is so true. Makes me sick but at the same time, happy that I am not alone. Even my own (former adoptive father) said this at a deposition he gave for my ex-husband. And when he happily testified in court against me — That he felt my daughter would be better off with my ex who had recently remarried (because he got some woman he knew for 5 months pregnant) because now there was a mother and father in the home and other kids which is better than a single mom. Can you believe someone would even think that way much less say it??? I thought that was the most hateful, back woods thing I ever heard. SO I am being punished because I was too busy raising our daughter alone for the past 12 years with NO help while the ex went out impregnating strangers and living with multiple women and so now he is the better parent? The past 12 years with me means nothing? It is better to live with an abusive, lying, controlling father who harasses the mother non-stop and who has not been there for his child because he is now newly re-married? While the single mom who has sacrificed dating, better jobs, higher education so she could raise the child alone is now worthless and can be tossed out with the trash now that the father is READY to be a father and family man and the single mom is not needed anymore? What time are we living in? Unreal. Even in court when the Judge asked me if I didn’t think the fact that my daughter “now” gets along with her new step-sister (as they did not before) was important too and I said “Excuse me, but I don’t feel a step-sister trumps a mother of 12 years”. Seriously?! The whole thing floors me to be frank. I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone!!!!!
FAMILY COURT VICTIM 
My step father gives my ex husband $ as a thinly disguised bribe to not get alienated, but in chumming up to the abusive, alienating parent, he makes himself part of the game of turning my daughter away from & against me. My stepdad alienated my younger sister from my mom. Obviously, I married someone with some of the same misogynist traits, but even worse. Much worse.
That is the same pathetic reason mine is siding with my ex. We had an argument several weeks prior to the “kidnapping” and suddenly he and my ex (whom he had not seen nor spoken to in 10 years) are the best of friends. Not one time has he reached out to me for clarification on anything. Whatever my ex says is the TRUTH and nothing but the truth – because it benefits HIM. It is a totally selfish move so that HE can still see my daughter. He does not care how that impacts my daughter or her not being able to see her mother who has raised her. It is disgusting. Mind you, these are not grandparents who have been super involved in her life. They have seen her 3 or 4 times a year on national holidays such as XMAS and Thanksgiving. They were horrible emotionally, verbally and physically abusive parents to me and even worse grandparents. I grew up in a home with nothing but arguing, tension and domestic violence. Did they think how my daughter would feel when she was kidnapped out of school, totally isolated from the mom who has raised her and TRAUMATIZED emotionally? DISGUSTING and SELFISH. It is not as if we had a close relationship. They were abusive to me and my FORMER father (and I use the term father loosely as no true father would ever do what he has done to me) always has had and continues to have strange sexual thoughts / behaviors towards me and that is why my mother HATED me and made my life miserable growing up. It was a sick emotional love triangle and my former adoptive mother was jealous, hated me and punished me my entire life for it and I never understood why she hated me since it all started when I was only about 9 years old. My childhood friend of 30 years is willing to come to court to testify to that. She saw a lot of it. Nothing physical BUT definitely emotionally and NOT normal. And, to this day, he still has those thoughts towards me as evidenced by things he said in his deposition – which he noticeably did NOT say at hearing. Presuming my ex’s lawyer let him know he sounds odd and not to say those things. So yes, he and my former adopted mother feel suddenly they are more important in my daughter’s life than me? They know how my ex has treated me and my daughter in the past. This is strictly a selfish move. And, even in the hearing, my lawyer said to my former adoptive father “Isn’t it true that you did not have ANY concerns regarding her parenting skills until you got mad at her and had an argument with her”? and he said YES. Duh. At least he finally made one honest statement since everything else he said was ridiculously rehearsed lies parroting everything my ex and his new wife have been saying for a year – words that he has never uttered in his entire life. I ask myself daily why this man – an abuser himself – thinks he has any right to critique my parenting. He was a horrible parent and horrible role model. The nasty depths people go to astounds me.
Reblogged this on "Absent" Parent Missing? Love & Parental Alienation Uncovered.
“Twilight Zone” describes the feeling I’ve had since the extreme parental alienation began and I was further abused by an unjust system that should protect my daughter, if not me. My stepfather seems to think his existence in my daughter’s life is more important than mine (what can you expect from a man who put my mom down to me & my sister so many years that my sister is brainwashed and mistreats and disrespects my mom if she happens to be at same family event?); therefore, he give my ex money & information to ensure his influence & presence in my daughter’s life, which sends a very sad message to my whole family & me. Seek peaceful, loving, healthy people & hope that your daughter will follow your example.
That is exactly how my former adoptive parents must feel. That their relationship as 3 times a year grandparents trumps my 12 year mother relationship with my daughter. And I am sure my daughter feels that I must be the one in the “wrong” since her dad, all his family and now MY family sides with him. She does not know the sick relationship I had with my former parents all growing up and she does not know that they are just SELFISHLY doing what is best for THEM so that they can still see her. They don’t care that they are destroying HER right to a loving and close relationship with HER mother. Just because they were not that kind of parent, doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t. That is why I feel (like you from what I have read) that I need to take a stand, put a stop to this BS and show my daughter I am not a punching bag and I am not going to feed into and give merit to these games and manipulations or even this pathetic judge anymore. I need to live my life. I have given 150% for the last 12 years fighting for her. I have been a great mom to her and no absent father or ignorant judge or hateful grandparent is going to tell me otherwise. I have been the ONLY person in her life that has been there for her 24/7 since day ONE. I just hope she remembers that. If I continue this family court game, I will be totally destroyed. I can’t do it.
Daughters need healthy moms who set boundaries , whether they ever realize this, we can’t control… I always wanted & want to protect my daughter from anything I might recognize that would cause her harm — unfortunately, I didn’t recognize until too late & now she won’t let me because her dad’s influence. I pray she will protect herself & transcend the destructive influence. My daughter used to be so creative with her art — may she transcend her pain with art. May our daughters see to it they are in healthy & emotionally safe situations.