Why am I more depressed today than I was yesterday? Yesterday was my only daughter’s 13th birthday. Yet I seem even more depressed today. I think it is because I had some “hope” yesterday that she would call me back at some point. But she never did. I had locked myself in my bedroom last night with the doors shut so I could hear her good just in case that call came. But it never did. It has been chilly, rainy, cloudy and gray all day today. That definitely does not help. I talked and cried to the dogs for awhile who all sweetly stared at me while I blabbered. I ate some chicken soup, drank some OJ and took my multi-vitamin with all the extra B’s. Hoping this will help with the cold I have and give me at least a little bit of energy. Right now, I have none. I keep seeing my daughter log on and off her ooVoo account all day. I don’t know if she is home or at school? School does not have internet access (wifi) so I assume she is at home. Why is she online again during a school day? Is she sick? This happened several days last week too. It makes me worry. Yet, I assume she is OK as she sent me a very brief response text message last night saying she was sorry for not calling me and would call me this morning. Of course, that call never came either. I keep hoping she will reach out to me if she is online, but she doesn’t. I just don’t know how I am supposed to move forward with my life without my daughter. How am I supposed to do that?! I am so depressed today and I just don’t know how I will ever feel better. I am sure everyone is sick of listening to me. I know I am sick of listening to myself. I feel like such a burden. What am I supposed to do now? I guess, as I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks and sadness washing over my soul, I am looking for a sign from a higher power to tell me what to do from here …. the day after. But I am just not seeing it.