Disconnected …… in more ways than one

Well, cable was just shut down so no TV. Internet will be next so I may not be able to blog for awhile. Just sent email to lawyer letting her know that she will have to text or call me if she needs me as no more internet access soon. Also let her know that I don’t think it is fair that I am expected to maintain a larger, more expensive 2 bedroom apartment as if I had my daughter in order to get her back yet my ex has decided he no longer has to pay his child support. 3 months past due going on 4. He has requested to stop paying it 3 or 4 times now and since the judge never agreed to that (yet) he has decided on his own to grant his motion. Typical abusive, controlling police officer. This has been his plan all along. To frustrate me emotionally by using the only thing I love and care about (my daughter) and to bankrupt me financially and force me to give up on my only child. As we all know in family court, you have to be able to afford to BUY justice and BUY your child back. A child that NEVER should have been taken from her mother in the first place. I am sure him not paying child support is OK with his police department also. After all, it is only a civil matter and civil contempt of court is not important to them. It is his way or no way and always has been. Judge can’t see his control issues by now? Of course, my lawyer sits back and does nothing even though I have been begging for help for months. I guess $10,000 in legal fees in 8 months is not enough for her to fight for me. I should have saved that money and paid the rent and cable/internet. I would have had the same results in court anyhow. This was preventable. If I had the child support, I would not be struggling this bad. I am still expected to maintain this 2 bedroom apartment, furnish it, feed her, buy her clothes, etc. but with no support. My ex makes more than 3 times what I make. I also told my lawyer that I am having to now cancel visits with my daughter as “public” visits are very expensive and I just can’t afford it. I easily spend $50 on an all day weekend visit with having to provide 2 meals plus entertainment and gas driving around town and around $20 on the week night visit. I just simply can’t afford it. How sad that I was forced to quit a perfectly good job in Destin, spent thousands to move back down here to Tampa since my daughter was kidnapped (as the biased judge let my ex ‘change his mind’ and revoke the notarized consent (lawful contract) that he had previously given me to relocate with my daughter and also revoked my court order that another judge gave me giving me permission to relocate), pay thousands in legal fees, rent and furnish 2 bedroom apartment in nice area of town and what do I have in return? Less visits than I had before and no child support. At this point, I feel like I have to fight my own lawyer who I pay to fight for me. She so obviously gave up on my case a long time ago. I just can’t fight everyone anymore. I am exhausted. This whole system makes me sick. I am in the financial gutter now. I can’t pay rent this month. I am going to have to move soon – away from my daughter and in with a friend in another state – so that I can try to get back on my feet financially. I am sure this will be held against me also even though my ex delayed and delayed the case creating excessive legal fees (trial now delayed again until late April or May) and did not pay child support which contributed greatly to me having to make this decision. Amazing, I had a good job, no debt and a perfectly good apartment in Destin less than a year ago. Family court + vindictive ex-husband + ignorant biased judge = a mother’s broken heart and spirit, financial ruin and a permanently damaged and severed 12 year mother/daughter relationship. All because my ex got someone he knew 5 months pregnant and had a shotgun marriage at the court house and now that he has a new baby, a built in babysitter/step-mom to raise our daughter, he has decided he is NOW ready to be a “daddy” and the biased judge is allowing it. 12 years too late to walk in and be daddy, IMO. Where were you the first 12 years of her life? Oh that’s right, you were busy focusing on YOU and working your way up at the police department and bar hopping with friends while I was raising our daughter full time with no help. As always, my heart remains shattered in a million pieces. I don’t think it is even repairable at this point. My advice for all of you, if you are ever in a similar situation, is do not go to court for help or justice. If you are in family court, self-help (like my ex has done) is definitely the way to go. That is what I have learned from this whole experience. You are better off doing that then trying to be honest and play by the rules. Do not go to court for justice because you will not get it.

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8 thoughts on “Disconnected …… in more ways than one

  1. Being a friend to you, this sickens me as well. I only wish I could do more to help but as you said since its in the courts there is really nothing anyone can do. I pray that maybe there is someone out there reading your blog who has some sort of power and can step in and help you. My prayers are with you as always- Michelle

  2. This post really describes the no-win, impossible & abusive situation an ex can put you & your child in. I just received an email from my ex-husband asking for almost double the child support I am paying. His income somehow shifted (he works for himself) and he’s demanding a change to suit him. He put me in a situation where I could not afford, financially or emotionally, to fight for my daughter, who he poisons against me & other family members with his hate. I wish I had not used a lawyer, but no matter what I did or do, it seems the manipulation & lies are rewarded. I just saw a video with Dr. Steve Miller where he talks about how calm & collect the obsessed alienating parent appears to professionals while the targeted parent is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) & how easily these professionals are misled by dismissing this fact and the truth about parental alienation. He also pointed out how you can not work with an extreme alienator because they are not healthy. This is not only unfair, but so very wrong for the child & entire family as well as the parent who has been targeted for this cruel form of domestic abuse.

  3. Reblogged this on Alienation Is Abuse and commented:
    Buying justice, right here in these United, no Disconnected, States. Just as the alienating parent forcibly disconnects our children from us. The laws of this state and country need to be rewritten so that we can connect. For the moment, Divorce Corp…Court is selling and sowing the seeds of separation. This will end.

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