Monthly Archives: February 2014
I never even got to see her face ……..
I am heartbroken. Please say this prayer for me today. I have been trying to reach out to my 13 year old daughter for a month now. All I have received is a short text here or there in response to mine. She never reaches out to me first. She has called me one time since I last saw her on 1/25/2014. I was just texting her on ooVoo and also sending her messages on Facebook a few minutes ago asking if I could video call her and she said I could. I went back and forth with texts and messages to her – trying to pin down a time with her. She blew most of them off even though I could see that she was online and reading them. She finally responded again and told me that I could call her in 3 minutes. I got so excited. I ran to the mirror and fixed my hair. I wanted to look “good” for the call. I watched the clock for exactly 3 minutes so I would not call too early or too late. I was so desperate for the call.
But, once again, I got my hopes up only to get crushed. I called her 3 or 4 times, no answer. Once it looked like she cancelled my call from her end before even answering it. So, I texted and sent her messages on Facebook again letting her know that I tried calling. She responded that she was sorry but she was doing homework. Ahhh, that is the standard excuse. Always the “homework”. I told her that was OK and I only wanted to talk to her for a minute just to see how she is because I have not talked to her in so long and I miss her so much. I told her this so she would know that I would not interrupt her homework too much. No response. I tried again and again. She finally answered but all I saw was the new baby in the background and my daughter’s shirt. I asked her “what are you doing” and she said “I am changing P*****”.
Ahhh, babysitting the new half baby sister again. Her father’s “do-over”, “second chance” later in life baby. The chance to “do it right” now that he has passed the age of 40. All I could see was a blur and then I heard her say “ewwww, this is messy” and “Mom, can I call you back later”?. I said “of course” in a fake happy voice. I never even got to see her face. Guess taking care of a new half-sibling is time consuming. I hear through the grapevine that she cares for the new baby a lot. But, what about the homework? I also heard her new, same age step-sister giggling in the background. They are fast friends now. But hated each other for the first year.
I guess my daughter has adjusted after 18 months of isolation from me and immersion in them. PARENTAL ALIENATION.
Needless to say, she has not called me back. I guess I can put my hair back up in the scrunchie bun. I don’t need to look good anymore. I doubt there will be a return call and I don’t dare get my hopes up again. At least here in South Carolina, I don’t have to deal with her father’s abuse and nasty emails and text messages as often. And, I don’t have the weekly pain and heartache of having only a few hours worth of a public visit with her only to have to return her back to him. That is, if he let me have my visit that day. If I am going to be cut out of her life in every way a mother can be, then I may as well do that from South Carolina.
Today, I saw a screenshot of my daughter’s Facebook account. I am not friends with her on Facebook due to the grief from her father. However, she is apparently friends with her step-mother on Facebook. The step-mother wrote a post tagging my daughter and her own 3 kids on Valentines Day saying how “they” love “their kids” and to have a happy Valentines Day. She also got her typical “religious” on by talking about wishing them blessings, etc. If they “loved” her and truly believed in God, would they cut her mother out of her life and drag us both through the mud as they have and still are doing? Hypocrisy at its finest. Funny, I did not even get to speak to my daughter on Valentines Day. Or her Birthday. Or any other day this past month. Is that them showing her love? Is that them showing her all about God and his blessings? That sure is an interesting religion. One hides behind a BADGE and the other hides behind GOD. And when did MY daughter become HER “kid”. Oh, that’s right. When my ex decided 18 months ago that I was no longer her mother.
This is my life on a daily basis. Hopes crushed. Sadness. Grief. Tears. Hopelessness. Fear. Defeat. I love you, KJ. No matter what.
Love, your Mama
Great article in Huffington Post regarding Hostile Parenting and the impossible task of co-parenting with a hostile ex-husband. Loving the slideshow by the therapist on how to handle the ex especially the Parallel parenting instead of co-parenting. That is what I tried!!!!
Gone but not forgotten ….
Tonight I am sad. My 13 year old daughter has not responded to any of my texts on ooVoo the last few days. The only time she responded was on Friday night when she had a random question for me about someone I used to date and she got angry because I did not answer the question properly. The truth was, I was scared that her father – the abusive alienator – was behind the question so I was not sure “how” to answer her question out of fear and anxiety. This is what life has become. I have to question even the simplest of random questions now for fear the abusive alienator is behind them, scheming and plotting. I have been trying to reach my daughter for almost a month now. I know nothing about her life from the last month. Nothing. It hurts me that she does not want to share any of her life with me. That she would rather share it with the abusive alienator and his new wife. She is online all the time so it is not as if she cannot reach out to me. It used to be that way in the past. The first 8 months or so after she was kidnapped out of school – and yes, sweet pea, there IS such a thing as parental kidnapping – she constantly tried to reach out to me and they stopped her and retaliated against her for talking to me, for telling me things, for contacting me and opening up to me. No-one cared. The Judge did not care. The Lawyers did not care because I did not have enough money to fight it in court. The abusive alienator does not have to strong arm her and physically control her anymore (ie: closely monitor her phone calls, IPOD and computer 24/7) as he used to do because after 18 long months of unfettered, severe parental alienation, she is now completely under his control. Sadly, she does not even realize this. She is unaware that she has been completely used as a pawn and manipulated over the past 18 months (slowly, little by little, day by day, insidiously) in order to hurt, abuse and mistreat me. She does not understand her father’s vindictiveness and the level of hate he has towards me. That he would do anything to destroy me – emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually. She appears to have forgotten all of the things that her father – the abusive alienator – and his equally abusive alienating wife has done. To her. To me. In her quest to SURVIVE the kidnapping, retaliation and alienation, she has forgotten or swept under the rug all of the strong arm tactics used by her father and his new wife in the beginning. I could not get any relief or justice through the courts and she sadly gave up after awhile. I don’t blame her one bit. I gave up too. I gave up on this corrupt family court system. But, I will never give up on her. I believe that after awhile it was just much easier for her to go with the abusive alienators flow then try to continue having a relationship with me – the mother who raised her. She has been told numerous lies about me. That I am mentally unstable. That she was not kidnapped. That I left her and don’t care. That if I cared about her, I would have moved back. That I think I am the “victim” when I am not. She has been told all these things by the abusive alienator and his wife, over and over. They don’t have to say these things anymore because she is under their complete control now. So, of course, when the Judge asked her if they had done all of these things, she said NO and my heart broke.
That is the product and end result of unfettered parental alienation over the course of 18 straight months. It is child abuse. She may truly not remember the things they have said and done or she may have just given up. I don’t blame her and I hope she knows that. She is the true victim in all of this. Just a child who has been used and abused by a horribly selfish father, equally selfish grandparents and a corrupt family court system that is driven by the almighty dollar.
The alienators are all delighted that she no longer reaches out to me. They are delighted that they were able to delay and manipulate this entire case over the past 18 months until the point that I had no choice but to give up and walk away. They are happy to have cut her mother out of her life. They are thrilled that the Judge was so cruel to me and totally biased to her father – the abusive alienator – because he is a police officer. My daughter does not know any of this. She does not know that our Judge is so horrid that ABC Action News even published an article on him in the newspaper and online for being completely unprofessional and biased in the court room towards women victims of domestic violence. Treating the victim like the criminal instead of the other way around. She does not know any of this. She thinks her dad has her right now because he is “right” and I am “wrong”. Just as he has told her. I can’t clarify any of that to her because then I would be discussing “court” and I would be in contempt. I can only pray that one day she sees the truth. That she becomes educated on the research that has been done regarding the effects of parental alienation on children. I love you sweet pea, always and no matter what. You are not to blame. I will always be here for you.
Grazzini-Rucki Family v. United States Supreme Court
“COURTS MUST HAVE THE ABILITY TO UNDO INJUSTICE AS READILY AS IT INFLICTS IT” – ATTORNEY MICHELLE LOWNEY MACDONALD.
FAMILY COURT “TEMPORARY” ORDERS THAT DRAG ON FOR YEARS ARE UNCONSTITUTIONAL AND VIOLATE OUR RIGHTS AND OUR CHILDREN’S RIGHTS
This is EXACTLY what has happened to ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I am still on a “temporary” order going on 2 years now. Of course, no-one will want to “interrupt” my daughter’s life now after 2 years. Even though it was OK that it was interrupted when she was legally kidnapped. This is EXACTLY what has happened to me to a tee. Still on a “temporary” order 2 years later and meanwhile my child has been alienated from me and brainwashed (Stockholm Syndrome, Trauma Bonding, Parental Alienation Syndrome). 
Of course, no one will want to interrupt her life now, 2 years later. The abuser will win by default and I will end up bankrupt. I 100% agree with this lawyer. These temporary orders should be UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Ruining lives every day. PLEASE SHARE THIS TO EDUCATE AND BRING AWARENESS. 
FROM “SAFE KIDS INTERNATIONAL” FACEBOOK PAGE:
Attorney Michelle MacDonald Contests “Temporary” Orders Depriving Protective Mom of Rights in U.S. Supreme Court
“[T]his United States Supreme Court has provided definitive guidelines for child custody, as a parent’s Constitutional right t…o exercise, which every state in the Union can choose to ignore, as long as the order is ‘temporary.’
…Family Courts routinely generate ‘temporary’ orders which carry on without expiration, and may represent persistent violations of parent’s Constitutional right to the care custody and control of their offspring.
…Lower [Family] courts do not have the discretion to temporarily ignore a fit parent’s fundamental rights protected by the Federal and State Constitution just because custody proceedings are pending.”
From: Petition for Rehearing file:///C:/Users/owner/Downloads/UnitedStatesSupremeCourtPetitionRehearing.pdf
*Note: It is a common family court tactic to take kids away from Protective Mothers “temporarily”, which ends up being for a very long time. [Later the judge often uses the fact that s/he does not want to disrupt the children’s lives by giving custody back to mom.]
“[T]his United States Supreme Court has provided definitive guidelines for child custody, as a parent’s Constitutional right t…o exercise, which every state in the Union can choose to ignore, as long as the order is ‘temporary.’
…Family Courts routinely generate ‘temporary’ orders which carry on without expiration, and may represent persistent violations of parent’s Constitutional right to the care custody and control of their offspring.
…Lower [Family] courts do not have the discretion to temporarily ignore a fit parent’s fundamental rights protected by the Federal and State Constitution just because custody proceedings are pending.”
From: Petition for Rehearing file:///C:/Users/owner/Downloads/UnitedStatesSupremeCourtPetitionRehearing.pdf
*Note: It is a common family court tactic to take kids away from Protective Mothers “temporarily”, which ends up being for a very long time. [Later the judge often uses the fact that s/he does not want to disrupt the children’s lives by giving custody back to mom.]
This achieves the first step in the silencing/Stockholming process: Isolate the victims from anyone who supports their accounts of abuse. This enables the perpetrator (with or without help from corrupt court-appointed psychologists) to coerce, threaten, brainwash and/or Stockholm the child(ren) into recanting (or at least staying quiet about) the abuse.
This U.S. Supreme Court petition filed yesterday in the Rucki case may help to make these “temporary” orders unconstitutional.
UNCHECKED AND UNBALANCED. Who polices the police? Who judges the judge?
WHERE is the accountability in family court? My ex-husband is a law enforcement officer (CONTROLLING NARCISSIST) who is in contempt of every single court order that we have from child support to visitation to phone calls to therapy. He was caught lying under oath. The judge continues to look the other way and allow it to continue. 
The judge has not followed Florida law or Florida case law in making his decisions. He is blatantly biased towards my ex-husband – his “law enforcement” colleague. He has allowed severe parental alienation and assisted my ex-husband in permanently damaging my once close and loving relationship with my daughter by allowing him to be in contempt and alienate me for an extended period of time. Who polices the police? Who judges the judges? Where is the ACCOUNTABILITY?!?! 
It is SHAMEFUL what is allowed to go on in family courts ALL OVER THE WORLD. Abuse of power, Abuse of discretion, Connections, Control, Perjury, Parental Alienation (STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, TRAUMA BONDING, BRAINWASHING, EMOTIONAL CHILD ABUSE). As long as it continues to go on virtually UNCHECKED, it will only get worse. The abusers become emboldened when they continue to “get away” with it. That is why our founding fathers knew that “checks and balances” were crucial. It is SHAMEFUL that here we are in 2014 with a family court system as UNCHECKED and UNBALANCED as it is. #PARENTSWHOALIENATEOTHERPARENTSHAVENARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER
There is no band-aid big enough to fix my broken heart.
Parental Alienation = My Broken Heart. Missing my daughter. Have not seen her in almost a month and have not spoken to her in about 3 weeks. How do I move forward with my life? I am really struggling.
Systemic Evil
This is the truth. Ironically, I have touched on this same exact issue in a post I am about to do in regards to the family court not caring about the past history or pattern of behavior of the abusive, alienating parent. It is completely shocking and illogical. Stay tuned for that post.
What is in your ‘comfort zone?’… How the sociopath ‘grooms’ its victim
YES … SPOT ON!!!!
Do you, after a period of recovery miss the sociopath? Do you look back to the happy times? Do you ever wonder how did things go so wrong? If you hear the voice inside of your head that questions, ‘why couldn’t it just have been like that all of the time’? I hope that this post explains how the sociopath operates to control and manipulate you. What is going on inside of your head, when you have those ‘missing you‘thoughts and pangs. Remember that you have been in a relationship, that was controlling, manipulative, and deceptive. This post will look at how the sociopath focuses on feeding your comfort zone, to own you.
The sociopath focuses on your comfort zone to manipulate and control you. Think about what is in your comfort zone? Where are you safe? What makes you happy? It could be anything at all, home…
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FAMILY COURT VICTIM 