M.I.A.

Just a quick update. I know I have been M.I.A. this month. I have not been blogging much lately. Trial did not go too well. As expected with Judge Nazaratien. It was just another mom-bashing session where only I was grilled to no end and harassed. The ex-husband, as always, sailed thru with not even one question asked of him by the Judge. It was just yet another sideshow in the Circus that is Judge Nazaratien’s “family” courtroom. This man made up his mind from day one. We, of course, ran out of time as always. No closing arguments, no nothing. Some trial that is. Most of my issues were not even addressed. As usual. Judge already asked my ex-husband’s lawyer to draw up an order. Therefore, his mind was made up before he even left the bench. Obviously, he has no plans to review case law or anything else before ruling. Case law which he has been in violation of for the past 2 years. Thinking he would admit his legal error and right his wrong are a joke. His mind was made up in a short hearing in September 2012 and he has never cared what happened to my daughter or me ever since. My ex-husband can lie under oath and alienate me all he wants. He is a police officer and treated with kid gloves by the totally biased and inappropriate Judge Nazaratien. The bias has been sickening. The demeaning manner in which I have been treated for 2 years by Judge Nazaratien has been nothing short of disgusting and appalling. Trust me when I tell you that it is ALL about the money. $$$$$$. I have been trying to pick myself up and put the pieces of my life and heart back together. Not going so well at the moment. I also had a bad fall this week which left me with a trip to the ER and a black eye. I WILL be back. Just need a little time. My prayers go out to all of you. Praying for peace, understanding, clarity, favor, truth, love, and justice for all of us alienated parents and our children.

 

ARE YOU BEING GASLIGHTED???

ARE YOU BEING GASLIGHTED???

 

 

Why would you harm your OWN child?

Today my daughter should be proudly being inducted into the 7th grade NJHS (National Junior Honor Society) due to her extremely high GPA in all honors classes. But she won’t because her father and step-mother never bothered to have her do the required essay and turn it in on time. It is obvious that my daughter is not a priority in that home with the step-mothers other 3 kids. If you are too busy to be concerned and involved in her education, then please, I beg you, send her HOME where she belongs. To the mother who raised her for her entire life until you kidnapped her out of school on August 31, 2012. I think, in fact, that was the only time you have ever even been to her school, isn’t it? When you went there to kidnap her? PLEASE send her home to her mother because I care and I have the time to be involved in her education!!! I spoke to the NJHS sponsor who also happens to be her Lang Arts Honors teacher to verify. Thank you Judge Nick Nazaratien, Dr. Jeannine Jones (Apollo Beach Counseling Center), Paul and Connie Mundy and all others who have helped and enabled my ex-husband and his new wife to totally alienate me from every aspect of my daughters life – while permanently and negatively altering every aspect of her life including her education – as I sit here with my hands tied behind my back by a totally flawed family court system. You should all be so proud of yourselves. If my ex-husband had at least listed me as the mother on my daughter’s school records perhaps I could have tried to prevent this. He currently lists the step-mother as the mother. I only just now got access to her education because he finally listed me as an emergency contact on the form. I am sure he will take me off again as soon as the trial is over and he does not have to look good anymore. Parental Alienation is child abuse and a form of domestic violence. Only a vindictive, abusive sociopath would actively and repeatedly keep a daughter from her loving mother to the point of permanently damaging their relationship and harming their OWN child in the process. It makes me so sad for my daughter that she will not be receiving this very special academic honor today. One that she deserves so much. Instead of being inducted into the NJHS this evening, my 13 year old daughter will spend her evening like she does every other evening – homework, sweeping and mopping floors while also caring for the 15 month old baby that her father and step-mother created. From what I understand, she is getting very good at changing diapers.

Things you can do to show an alienated mom that you care on Mother’s Day … and every day.

   

 

As one would imagine, Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days that an alienated mother goes through. Just like her child’s birthday, holidays and other special events that she is unjustly missing. Memories that can never be replaced. Stolen time.

Don’t forget that these mothers are still moms. Being alienated does not take away the bond that they have with their children. It does not make the love that they have for them disappear. If anything, it has only made their love and fierce desire to protect stronger than ever before.

These moms are courageous, strong, warriors. During their darkest times, they manage to fight through the pain and grief. They struggle to literally get up off the floor, wipe their tears and advocate for not only their children but also for other moms and their alienated children too.

 

These moms should never be forgotten. Not on Mother’s Day or any day. This is a pain that no loving mother should ever have to endure.

You can show you care by doing a few of the following things for these moms. On Mother’s Day or any day.

1. Call them or send them a message just to say that you are thinking of  them on this important and special day and that they are loved. Remind them what a great mother they are. Give them examples. They may or may not feel like talking and that is OK. It is the reaching out that matters.

 

2. Send them a card. Or make one!! They are still moms. Remember, they probably won’t be getting a card from their child. Send them a card letting them know they are a wonderful mom and how you admire them for their strength and courage.

 

3. Invite them to Mother’s Day lunch or dinner. Give them the option to think about it and choose whether they feel they are strong enough to go or not. Leave an open invitation with no pressure. Remember, this day brings up a lot of sad emotions for a mother missing her child. She may want to go and she may not. If she is courageous enough to go, don’t leave her out. Acknowledge her as the great mother that she is.

 

4. Send her flowers. Or drop by and surprise her with some. You can pick some pretty flowers for free or get some inexpensive flowers or plants at the local grocery store. A little something beautiful goes a long way for a loving mother missing her child.

 

5. Treat her to breakfast in bed, a manicure or pedicure. Something that she possibly may have gotten from her child if she had been given the opportunity. Chances are, this is something that she would never do for herself. Remember, she is under a great deal of stress that no-one else but her can understand.

 

These are just some thoughts and ideas. You can get as creative as you want. What would be good for one mom may not be good for another depending on her unique situation and feelings. Use your best judgment. Regardless, showing that you love and care can never be wrong. As they say, it is the thought that counts. And, it counts more than you could ever imagine.

 

 

 

How do I move on when I don’t want to move on?

 

I have been so incredibly sad the past few days. The 2nd portion of my trial looms near. Supposed to have a 3 hour hearing in 4 weeks to finish the trial that began in December 2013. Also at this 3 hour hearing we are supposed to squeeze in the contempt hearing that I have been begging lawyers to do for 20 months now that they never did. A total of about $17,000 in lawyer fees so far and still NO contempt hearing in almost 2 years.

 

We are also supposed to “finish” my cross examination from a motion to vacate hearing that I tried to have a year ago in July 2013 (my ex got to speak first as always but I never did – between him and the Judge we always run out of time and I never get the chance to state my side). That hearing was never completed. AND, we are also supposed to try and squeeze in yet another motion that never got heard from November 2013. Another motion to vacate the original “illegal” temporary order from September 2012 – an order which violated all Florida case law. Based on nothing more than finances. Sadly, by then it was a moot point because my ex-husband had succeeded in severely alienating me to the point that my daughter was suddenly saying that she wanted to live with him the “majority” of the time and that she and I had an argument at our last visit and so now she did not want to stay over night with me anymore. At least for now. So I have now been further punished by having “public visits” with her since November 2013. Public visits with a child who is so alienated from me after two years that she does not even view me as a parent anymore. Let’s call it what it is. Parental Alienation is child abuse, bullying and a form of domestic violence.

 

 

 

But yet parents that are involved with child protective services who are alcoholics, drug addicts and who beat their children still HAVE their children. PLUS we are also supposed to have the trial itself at this upcoming 3 hour hearing. Yes, of course this is ridiculous and will never happen. I told my lawyer this many times. That it will never be enough time to properly hear everything and that everything should not be shoved into one final hearing. Not fair to me or my child. But, the lawyers do not care because it is all about the money. It will never be enough time to get all of my testimony and evidence out. But, I am not surprised. Every hearing up until now has been my ex-husbands. He has always been the one to talk and talk while I am forced to sit silent. I thought one day my day would come. I believed in the “system”. Now I realize that in family court, that is not the case. At this final hearing in June, I will have no lawyer. Mine quit because I can’t come up with another $4,000. I have already paid her $10,000 and I am worse off now than I was before I hired her. All I asked of her when I hired her 14 months ago was to do a motion of contempt for me so that my ex-husband could be held accountable and that this parental alienation and emotional abuse of my daughter would stop. She did the motion but never followed through with scheduling a hearing for it. So my worst fears came true. The alienation got worse over time. Chipping away at our once very close and loving mother daughter relationship. Remember, this is a child that I raised alone from birth until almost age 12. With no help from the ex-husband. He was single then and did not care. He did not want the responsibility. Over time, the alienation really began to take its toll. My daughter began rejecting me as she saw that if she did not love me and if she ignored me then she was rewarded for that by being treated much better by her father and her brand new step-mother who she was “temporarily” living with.

 

Temporary order going on 2 years now. During this time I have quit a perfectly good job to move to the city that my daughter is now living in, broke two apartment leases causing thousands of dollars in debt, taken out a car loan on my previously paid off car to pay moving expenses and more lawyer fees, had to relocate for a 3rd time due to not being able to find a new job in the new city. Now I am far away from my daughter, living with a friend in another state, in debt up to my ears and still looking for a job. I know I will lose in June by default because I am broke, I had to move away and I have no lawyer. This makes me very sad. Family court decisions should not be based on finances and who has the most money. Before all this, I had ZERO debt. Now I am looking at probably having to file bankruptcy. A child should not be separated from the mother who raised her for the first 12 years of her life due to being poor and broke – in large part due to the family court system. I feel so beat down. I trusted the system and how wrong I was. I knew my ex-husband would be treated well because he is a police officer. But, I guess deep down, I thought that common sense, logic, a 12 year mother daughter bond and the actual laws of Florida would have to be followed. I trusted that I would have “my day” in court where I would be able to speak as my ex-husband has been allowed to do, that I would be able to bring up all of my concerns and all of the horrible things that my ex-husband has done but that day never came for me. $17,000 and it never came.

  

 

I sit here lost and confused. I paid the lawyers every dime I had and also what I didn’t, I moved, I gave up a job, I took out loans, I broke leases. I did everything asked of me and then some to try and get my baby girl home where she belongs and I got nowhere. In fact, I am worse off now than I was before. I now have “public” visits with a child I raised alone from birth – visits which my ex-husband rarely let me have. Everything has been totally turned around on me to the point I feel like I am living in the “Twilight Zone”. The abuser now points his finger at me and calls ME the abuser. ME?! I now live away from my only child and rarely get to speak to her. She is more distanced from me every day that goes by. Something I begged my lawyers for almost two years to help me stop and no-one cared. I could not afford the high powered lawyers like my ex-husband so I guess I got what I paid for. How sad that in the United States of America, in 2014, the parent that gets to be in the child’s life is the one who can “afford” to fight the legal battle the longest.

 

My child is now being raised by a brand new step-mother who could care less about her. Her father – the one who kidnapped her out of school – does not raise her. He works too much at his Vice and Narcotics Job. He pawns her off on the new step-mother. And, the new step-mother pawns her off to raise their “new” baby. Yes, that is what this whole thing is about. My ex-husband got this woman he knew for 5 months pregnant and had to marry her. Neither one of them liked the $870 per month child support that was going to me. Now that he had a new wife, he could take our daughter. And who cares if it disrupted all our lives? It is all about HIM and what he wants. The narcissist. Always has been. Always will be.

 

 

 

Our daughter now spends her time raising their new baby instead of being a 13 year old. Her education has suffered. I have been kept off of all educational records until recently. I went from being PTA President, Girl Scout Volunteer and Home Room Mom to nothing – overnight – thanks to the alienation tactics of my ex-husband and his new wife. Yes, she has been very over-involved, interfering and downright proactive in alienating me as well. Almost moreso than him at times. I used to be super involved in my daughter’s school and activities. The step-mother is now listed as the mother on MY daughter’s education records and they will not change it even though I have sent them my Drivers License, a notarized letter and a copy of her birth certificate showing me as the mother. I can’t get it changed because of school policy. Only the father who enrolled her can make changes to the school records. And, he lists the step-mother as the mother. The school, in essence, enables the alienator to continue the alienating behaviors. I told the school social worker and she told me not to “worry” about it because it is not as if our daughter “sees” the school records and knows who is listed as the mother. I think she missed the point. It truly amazes me at how uneducated, unaware and ignorant schools, counselors, therapists, lawyers, professionals, Judges and the public in general are when it comes to Parental Alienation.  Parental Alienation is “enabled psychological child abuse”.

 

 

 

 

SO, my questions is, how do I move on when I don’t want too? I don’t want to move on without my daughter. My only child. I go through the motions every day but I can’t be happy. I may have a good moment here and there but it always comes back to the same thing – I miss my daughter and I don’t know how to live this way. I don’t know how to live without her. Before, I always had hope that the court would eventually do the right thing and this whole nightmare would end. Now, I don’t hold out that hope anymore. So, I am really scared. And, I am really sad. I am lost. I just want my daughter back home where she belongs – with her mother. With ME. I want this so badly. I miss our life together.

 

 

 

I have already missed the last 2 years of her life thanks to this illegal “temporary” court order which violates all Florida case law. A decision that was made by a BIASED Judge who had already been in the news for treating women domestic violence victims like garbage in court. http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local-news/i-team-investigates/domestic-violence-experts-question-comments-made-by-tampa-judge

A decision that was made solely because my ex-husband was financially better off than I was and I was struggling financially. A Judge who has shown extreme bias and favoritism to my ex-husband because he is a POLICE OFFICER. The Judge did not care about his abuse. All the Judge cared about was my bank account. That does not determine who is the better parent. I was the parent that stuck around. That raised our child. That put in the blood, sweat and tears. Then I got punished for being the broke, struggling single mom. I feel so cheated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All I can do is cry and literally pray for the pain to go away. But it never does. How do I go on when I don’t want too? How? I don’t know how I will ever be happy again. Unlike my ex-husband, and his new wife, I am not in this fight for the “money” or to “win” or to “get back” at anyone. Unlike my ex-husband, I was also not in this fight to have a “do-over” or to get a “second chance” to be a parent when I CHOSE to never be there for the first 12 years. Because I WAS there. I DID sacrifice everything to be there for my daughter and to be a full time parent. So, I don’t need a do-over. I was ONLY in this fight because of the “love”. The love that I have for my daughter. Therefore, this hurts me on a different level and they know that. It is downright cruel. It is cruel to our daughter to deny her her only mother. A mother who raised her. For me it is not about money, child support, getting revenge, getting a do-over when I was never there before because NOW I am ready to be a parent. It hurts me on a different level. It shreds my heart and soul. I have had to learn to live half-alive.

How do I move on when I don’t want too? I am not ready to give up on my daughter. I am not ready to quit fighting. But in my heart and soul, in my wallet, I know the fight is over. I know I have lost in the “family court” system. It hurts me so much. I feel like I really let my daughter down. I feel like such a failure because I could not afford a high powered lawyer to  fight for us. I tried my best and my best was not good enough. I tried to play by the “family court” rules and lost. I miss my daughter and the pain is unbearable. I don’t want to move on without my beautiful daughter. I love her so much. I miss her. My heart hurts.

 

 

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/syndicatednews/2011/01/06/jennie-and-her-daughter-addie-tell-their-parental-

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/syndicatednews/2011/01/06/jennie-and-her-daughter-addie-tell-their-parental-

Mom and daughter tell their story of parental alienation.

 

Reaching Out to Young Adults After Years of Estrangement

Reaching Out to Young Adults After Years of Estrangement.

Former Wife’s Emergency Motion for Contempt/Enforcement and for Appointment of Alienation Expert

So here I am. On a gray, rainy and cold day looking at yet another 14 page Emergency Motion for Contempt to be filed with the court. My lawyer has recently prepared this and wants me to review it so that she can file it. I used to get so excited over these. Because I thought it meant surely change would now happen. Surely, my ex-husband would be held accountable now. Surely, the Judge would now see my ex-husband as clearly as I do. But, this is my 5th one in 18 months. I don’t get excited anymore. Now I just shrug my shoulders and dread even reading it and editing it. What is the point? All it does is remind me how horribly my daughter and myself have been treated by the family court system and how I have no control over it. Besides, as usual, my lawyer has waited so long that it is likely pointless anyhow. We never set hearings on my motions so they usually never even get heard. The one we did set in the past to be heard, my ex-husband cancelled an hour before the hearing saying he could not make it. Knowing that I had driven 1000 miles and taken 3 days off of work to travel and attend. Knowing that I could not afford to do this again. It is the game of Legal Abuse. Abusive ex-spouses know how to manipulate the court system to drag it out and delay accountability. My ex-husband is particularly adept at this since he is a Vice and Narcotics Detective and is very familiar with the court system process. At that time, my lawyer encouraged me just to roll over, give up my contempt motion and make a deal with my ex-husband for the summer. My ex-husband’s lawyer offered that if I dropped my contempt against him, then I could have my daughter for 2 weeks in the summer. Since my lawyer never argued for me to have my daughter for the entire summer like I had begged her too (she never opened her mouth in court), I was now left with a choice – re-set the contempt hearing (and travel and take more days off work) OR see my daughter for 2 weeks in the summer.

Being a desperate mom who missed her child, I took the deal. 2 weeks with my child was more important to me that holding him accountable in court. That is what a mom does. If we do set a hearing, it is usually so far off into the future before we can manage to actually get a hearing that I can’t remember all the details, there are too many details for all to be heard in court or the Judge just plain does not care anymore. Judge’s do not care about what happened last month or last year. They do not care to see the pattern of contempt over a period of time. They should as it reflects the poor character and bad intentions of the alienating parent. This should be important in deciding who gets custody. In fact, it states in the laws of Florida that it IS important and to be considered. But, it is not. Another little myth of family court is that the Judges have to follow the family court laws. Not true. My lawyer was trying to weave one of my other contempt motions in at the first part of our trial which started in December 2013. We did not even have time at the trial for the trial. Why was this contempt not handled prior to trial? Lord knows my ex-husband has been in contempt for 18 straight months. He stopped paying child support, denied me visits, phone calls, holidays and all right of first refusal time. He controlled and interfered constantly. I could go on about the contempt and incompetent representation all day. My ex-husband has a very expensive, bull dog, AV rated, board certified lawyer who knows how to delay, bluff, manipulate the system and aggressively fight for his clients. I could not afford that kind of lawyer. His bull dog lawyer does not care about my little girl being raised by a brand new step mom instead of her own mother. Neither does the Judge. The Judges only care about what happened last week so it is very very very important that your lawyer does not delay drafting motions and setting hearings for you. If they do, it ruins your case. That is what has happened to me. My abusive ex-husband has gotten away with 18 months of emotionally abusive and controlling behavior due to my lawyer not actively filing motions and setting hearings for me. It has not only ruined my court case but also allowed my ex-husband to have more time to continue alienating me from my only daughter and ruining our once close and loving mother daughter relationship. The lawyers do not care. Believe me. Lawyers do not want to draft motions and attend hearings if they are afraid they are not going to get paid for them. Those parents who cannot afford to aggressively defend or fight their case in court, generally lose in family court. And, so does the child. I have a feeling that with the biased Judge I have, it would possibly not matter anyhow. He decided from day one that my motions and my evidence were not important. He decided from day one that he would hand my precious and scared little girl over to her abusive father because he was a police officer and was seen as being above me in importance. This Judge demeaned me and humiliated me in court time and time again. He never did this to my ex-husband, the cop. In fact, he has given my ex-husband complete and total control over me for the last 18 months using my daughter as a tool to hurt me repeatedly. A real treat for a controlling, vindictive, narcissistic abuser like my ex-husband.

This is the truth guys. I am not some horrible, abusive, drug addict, alcoholic, mentally unstable mom who is just bitter that my ex-husband is winning in family court. I was a great mom who raised my daughter alone for the first 12 years of her life. I was good enough then. But for some reason, I am not good enough now. Oh wait. I do know the reason. The reason is because now my ex-husband wants our daughter. 12 years after the fact. A day late and a dollar short. He has a new wife now, a new baby and the child support he used to pay me seems to now be a burden for him and his new stay at home wife. Even though they live in a 3800 square foot home, just bought a brand new SUV and take expensive trips to places like Marco Island and stay in nice resorts. And this reason is clearly good enough for our biased Judge. For almost 18 months I had to sit virtually silent in the court room and never got to state my case or my side or even defend myself against all of the false allegations and lies my ex-husband told about me. It was always HIS motion and HIS hearing and therefore, I could say nothing. I had to wait 18 months until trial which is ludicrous. And even then, my ex-husband got to speak first and I was left with about 2 hours at the end of the day to speak and the Judge interrupted me every 10 seconds and raked me over the coals. He did not interrupt my ex-husband one time. So, now I have to review this new motion of contempt AND we have now added to appoint an alienation expert as well. The alienation expert would have never been needed if my lawyer would have handled my case in an expedient fashion. The alienation would not have been allowed to happen. I can’t afford the expert so I don’t know what will happen. And who knows what they will say? My ex-husband is a very smooth talking and charming person. He lies well – even under oath. He has had a lot of practice. I am just a normal mom. PTA and Girl Scouts kind of mom. I am not a smooth talker. I don’t know how to manipulate the system. I never wanted too. All I wanted was my little girl safe and at home with me, the mom who has raised her. So, I don’t know what will happen with this. And sadly, I am becoming so numb to it and “used to” the abuse that I don’t have the fight in me anymore.

adolf hitler & my child (current custody decisions in U.S. blindly dictated)

Perfectly describes the control that takes place during Parental Alienation. This is a great blog post from another alienated mom. People sometimes appear in disbelief as if these “things” that we talk about could not possibly be happening. These examples using Hitler may seem over the top to some but this is the author trying to explain the psychological concept of how Parental Alienation Syndrome works and is effective. Hitler only needed “words” to inflict his evil. Why would a vindictive and hateful parent need any less?

What Is My Daughter Giving Up For Lent? Her Mother.

Bonjour!!! I have not been on the blog much lately. Lots of other things going on right now with relocating to South Carolina and trying to get settled, working and organized here. Praying to find a JOB soon so I can start paying off all these legal fees. Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent.

This brings up yet another painful memory for me of the emotional abuse and belittling my sweet daughter has had to endure at the hands of her father’s new wife since her kidnapping. It hurts me that I have been unable to protect my daughter the way I have wanted too because my hands have been tied behind my back by a corrupt court.

I remember very clearly my daughter calling me around Ash Wednesday of 2013 and being upset. This was approximately 6 months after her father, and his brand new pregnant wife, kidnapped her out of school This was before total Parental Alienation Syndrome had set it. At that time, my daughter was still missing me terribly, crying to me and begging to come home despite her father and his new pregnant wife punishing her every single time she spoke out about this fact. I am so proud of her because she held on to her own thoughts, feelings and truth as long as she could back then as an innocent 11 year old. But this particular call, I remember asking her what was wrong and she said that her father’s new pregnant wife had asked all the children (her two and mine) what they were going to give up for Lent. This new wife is real big on publicizing to everyone how “Christian” she is despite the obvious hypocrisy between her lifestyle (sending nasty emails to the mother of her new boyfriend’s daughter without even knowing her; constantly instigating and inserting herself into someone else’s custody battle and hurting an innocent child in the process; having multiple live in boyfriends in the presence of her impressionable, young daughter and teen-age son; living with one man while dating and getting pregnant by another; having unprotected, pre-marital sex with a man you barely know and getting pregnant by this man after only knowing him 6 months; assisting in the kidnapping of a child and isolating that child from her mother with no regard to the trauma this would cause the child or the child’s mother; using a vulnerable child as a pawn by unethically taking the child to her friend and business partner for so-called therapy as a means to help her new husband win a custody scheme; walking around the house with no bra and her implants and nipples sticking out in front of all the children in the home including her teen-age son and his friends; drinking alcohol while pregnant; talking bad about a child’s mother to her; etc.) and that of a true Christian. I think this woman needs to look up the definition of a Christian again before using the Bible as a shield for all of her disgusting behaviors. Back to the question. My daughter answered this Christian woman’s question about what to give up for Lent out loud with an innocent and unassuming child’s answer of “I am not sure what I should give up for Lent. What should I give up?” – to which the new pregnant wife replied “I know. You could give up getting upset and over-reacting and crying all the time”. Understandably, my daughter’s feelings were very hurt at this unprovoked, needless, snide remark. I asked her if she had told her father, to which she replied “No, because he never takes my side and he will get mad at me and I will just get in trouble if I say anything about her.” This was very typical in the first year. My daughter knew she had to bottle up her feelings and thoughts or she would be punished and retaliated against. Especially if those thoughts and feelings were about being hurt in that home, loving her mother and/or wanting to go home to her mother.

This is how the Parental Alienation Syndrome began. My daughter kidnapped out of school. Completely isolated from her mother. Immediately taken to therapy with the new wife’s friend and business partner for special “brainwashing” therapy and a helpful letter to the court on their behalf – without including me in the so called therapy. Bad mouthing me to our daughter. Retaliating towards our daughter for any love she expressed to me including yelling, arguing, taking away her IPOD (her only means of communicating privately with me) for months on end, limiting and listening in to our phone calls, obstructing our contact; cancelling our visits or scheduling other plans for her during our visitation (movies, errands, trips to the store, homework, dinner, family movie night, shower time, friend’s houses, parties, church group, dance class …. ) and phone time repeatedly, refusing to allow us to video chat and maintain our bond. The list could really go on forever at this point but describing 18 straight months of non-stop alienation and abuse would be impossible in one blog. Perhaps I will put the rest of it in the BOOK or Lifetime Movie script.

Back to the remark regarding Lent. Why would this Christian woman make this uncaring remark to my daughter? Has she no feelings? This is a child who was kidnapped from the mother who raised her for her entire life and now has had her entire world change overnight. In addition to that, this is a child who has been physically and emotionally restrained from loving and contacting her mother day after day after day. Then you, as a Christian woman, instead of having compassion for this child – you punish her for having moments where she gets upset?   Did it occur to you that she is an 11 year old child trying to adjust to living in a whole new environment? Having to now live with an abusive father who was never involved in her life for the past 11 years, having to live with a brand new pregnant wife and her two children whom she did not get along with, living in a new home, eating different foods, wearing different clothes, going to a new school, having to adjust to no longer having a mother in her life and having to adjust to the fact that her father impregnated yet another new girlfriend after only knowing her for a few months? After all, the man was just engaged to and living with a different married woman and impregnated her only a few months prior to meeting you Christian woman. Do you think all of this would possibly confuse a child? Set a good example for her? Make her feel comfortable and safe?

Have I mentioned that this Christian woman also works at a Christian Counseling Center as a counselor? A Christian counselor who would do all of the things that I have described above? I will have to save that bit of hypocrisy for another time.

I vividly recall desperately begging the lawyers over and over to address these issues as soon as possible in court. But, I simply did not have the cash, resources and bank account to make my case important or to save my daughter which is what is required in family court.  Money = Justice.

I truly encourage others who are in a similar situation to look up the definition of Stockholm Syndrome. It will truly explain a lot in terms of how these children are affected psychologically and why they end up aligning with their kidnappers. There is a lot of research on this topic. I will post some links here and there but please, do the research on Parental Alienation Syndrome so that you can educate yourself and hopefully gain a little more of an understanding and insight. I know that I felt so scared, blind sided, helpless, sad and confused when this whole ordeal began for me and my daughter on August 31, 2012. I wish I had known then what I know now regarding parental alienation which is very traumatic and referred to by many experts as the worst form of psychological child abuse.

So here we are on Ash Wednesday. What will I be giving up for Lent? I am not sure just yet. I am trying hard to remain faithful despite all that has happened. But I do know one thing. I pray that for Lent, my daughter’s father and his new Christian wife will give up their hate, jealousy, insecurity, vindictiveness, spitefulness, pettiness, lying and manipulative, abusive behaviors. I pray they find love and a conscience. I pray that they begin to walk the walk of being a Christian and not just talk the talk. At least for the next 40 days.