Silence is complicity. Parental Alienation is emotional child abuse and domestic violence (control, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, isolation, bullying, gaslighting, narcissism, hate).
Monthly Archives: May 2014
Simple as that!!!!
Parental Alienation. Child Abuse. Domestic Violence. Bullying. Narcissism. Sociopath. Corruption in Family Courts. Biased Judges. Abuse of Power of Discretion.
PARENTAL ALIENATION IS EMOTIONAL CHILD ABUSE
MY DAUGHTER SHOULD NOT GET IN TROUBLE FOR SHOWING ME LOVE. CHILDREN SHOULD NOT HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEIR PARENTS.
Wishing a peaceful and stress free day to all of the alienated mom’s out there tomorrow.
Dear Alienated Mom’s
I can’t and won’t wish you a Happy Mother’s Day because I know that it won’t be. It can’t be a happy day when your child is being kept from you unjustly by a spiteful and hateful ex-husband. No-one can or should expect us to be “happy” about this especially on Mother’s Day – a day meant to celebrate moms all over the world. Especially when most of us will probably not see or even hear from our children.
But what I will wish you is a day that is as peaceful and as stress free as possible. For myself, I am just hoping to actually get a few hours of sleep tonight. I have not slept in weeks. Feel like I am coming down with a cold. Probably just run down. Just can’t seem to turn my brain off these days. Parental Alienation is sheer torture for me. I have a very long drive tomorrow – job interview and court stuff to take care of – and I am just so exhausted.
Praying for peace, strength, love, forgiveness, understanding, clarity, compassion, guidance, tenacity, resolve, insight, support, abundance and justice for all of us. Thank you all (alienated moms and dads) for being there. No-one can understand the pain the way we can.
Love,
K
Loving and capable mothers CAN and DO lose their children to Parental Alienation
Loving and capable mothers CAN and DO lose their children to Parental Alienation
Per Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D.
In my experience an alienating parent needs three things: (1) motive to undermine the child’s relationship with the other parent, (2) access to the child, and (3) skillful use of alienation strategies. These are not the sole purview of either gender.
In my particular case, I believe we can definitely check off all 3 items on this list. (1) Vindictive Ex-Husband who wants to “get me back” for everything he perceives I have “done” to him the past 15 years. Ex-Husband got woman he had been dating for 5 months pregnant and had to marry her. Neither he nor new Step-Mom wanted him to continue paying me child support. (2) Full access to child thanks to a biased Family Court Judge who did not follow Florida case law and made decision based solely on finances which is not legal. A Judge who has already been in the news (ABC Action News published a story on him) for treating women domestic violence victims horribly in the courtroom. Demeaning and embarrassing them just as he has done to me every time I set foot in his courtroom. A Judge who makes you feel re-victimized, bullied and abused every time you are before him. In addition, this Judge showed extreme bias to Ex-Husband who is a Law Enforcement Officer. (3) Ex-Husband is a Veteran Vice and Narcotics Law Enforcement Officer who is highly skilled at lying for a living, interrogating violent criminals, bullying and intimidating. Step-Mom is a recently Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at a Christian Counseling Center and has used her skills to coerce and manipulate my vulnerable daughter. Ex-Husband and Step-Mom took my daughter to Step-Moms Friend, Former Co-Worker / Former Business Partner for so-called “counseling” (aka: brainwashing) right after the parental kidnapping of my daughter. Said Counselor / Friend / Former Co-Worker / Former Business Partner subsequently wrote a letter to the court for her Friend / Former Co-Worker / Former Business Partner / Step-Mom painting me in a bad light even though she refused to allow me to participate in said counseling.
Mother’s Day Message from An Alienated Dad to Alienated Moms:
Mother’s Day Message from an Alienated Dad to Alienated Moms: “An early Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms. I’ve said it before but it is worth repeating —please remember that parental alienation is not about you or what kind of mother you were/are. Alienation is all about the alienating parent’s unresolved emotional issues and the unhealthy, co-dependent relationship that forms between the parent and child. So while I understand the pain of not hearing from your children on holidays, remember it’s not your fault! Do something you enjoy this Sunday and remember that you are great Moms.”
These words made me feel just a slight bit better about Mother’s Day.
GREAT NEWS!!! WONDERFUL JOB CONNECTICUT!!! FAMILY COURT REFORM IS COMING. JUDGES WILL BE RESTRICTED!!! POOR TRAINING HAS BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED. FAMILY COURT DRIVING PARENTS INTO FINANCIAL RUIN. PRAYING FLORIDA IS NEXT!!!!
“On Friday, April 25, 2014, both houses of Connecticut’s legislature unanimously approved a bill that restricts judges in family court matters. Parent who have been unfairly denied access to their children, given restricted access and bankrupted by the court turned out in large numbers to testify in favor of the legislation. The legislation points towards fundamental changes in Connecticut’s family court system.”
CLICK LINK ABOVE TO READ ENTIRE ARTICLE
Why would you harm your OWN child?
Today my daughter should be proudly being inducted into the 7th grade NJHS (National Junior Honor Society) due to her extremely high GPA in all honors classes. But she won’t because her father and step-mother never bothered to have her do the required essay and turn it in on time. It is obvious that my daughter is not a priority in that home with the step-mothers other 3 kids. If you are too busy to be concerned and involved in her education, then please, I beg you, send her HOME where she belongs. To the mother who raised her for her entire life until you kidnapped her out of school on August 31, 2012. I think, in fact, that was the only time you have ever even been to her school, isn’t it? When you went there to kidnap her? PLEASE send her home to her mother because I care and I have the time to be involved in her education!!! I spoke to the NJHS sponsor who also happens to be her Lang Arts Honors teacher to verify. Thank you Judge Nick Nazaratien, Dr. Jeannine Jones (Apollo Beach Counseling Center), Paul and Connie Mundy and all others who have helped and enabled my ex-husband and his new wife to totally alienate me from every aspect of my daughters life – while permanently and negatively altering every aspect of her life including her education – as I sit here with my hands tied behind my back by a totally flawed family court system. You should all be so proud of yourselves. If my ex-husband had at least listed me as the mother on my daughter’s school records perhaps I could have tried to prevent this. He currently lists the step-mother as the mother. I only just now got access to her education because he finally listed me as an emergency contact on the form. I am sure he will take me off again as soon as the trial is over and he does not have to look good anymore. Parental Alienation is child abuse and a form of domestic violence. Only a vindictive, abusive sociopath would actively and repeatedly keep a daughter from her loving mother to the point of permanently damaging their relationship and harming their OWN child in the process. It makes me so sad for my daughter that she will not be receiving this very special academic honor today. One that she deserves so much. Instead of being inducted into the NJHS this evening, my 13 year old daughter will spend her evening like she does every other evening – homework, sweeping and mopping floors while also caring for the 15 month old baby that her father and step-mother created. From what I understand, she is getting very good at changing diapers.
Things you can do to show an alienated mom that you care on Mother’s Day … and every day.
As one would imagine, Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days that an alienated mother goes through. Just like her child’s birthday, holidays and other special events that she is unjustly missing. Memories that can never be replaced. Stolen time.
Don’t forget that these mothers are still moms. Being alienated does not take away the bond that they have with their children. It does not make the love that they have for them disappear. If anything, it has only made their love and fierce desire to protect stronger than ever before.
These moms are courageous, strong, warriors. During their darkest times, they manage to fight through the pain and grief. They struggle to literally get up off the floor, wipe their tears and advocate for not only their children but also for other moms and their alienated children too.
These moms should never be forgotten. Not on Mother’s Day or any day. This is a pain that no loving mother should ever have to endure.
You can show you care by doing a few of the following things for these moms. On Mother’s Day or any day.
- Call them or send them a message just to say that you are thinking of them on this important and special day and that they are loved. Remind them what a great mother they are. Give them examples. They may or may not feel like talking and that is OK. It is the reaching out that matters.
- Send them a card. Or make one!! They are still moms. Remember, they probably won’t be getting a card from their child. Send them a card letting them know they are a wonderful mom and how you admire them for their strength and courage.
- Invite them to Mother’s Day lunch or dinner. Give them the option to think about it and choose whether they feel they are strong enough to go or not. Leave an open invitation with no pressure. Remember, this day brings up a lot of sad emotions for a mother missing her child. She may want to go and she may not. If she is courageous enough to go, don’t leave her out. Acknowledge her as the great mother that she is.
- Send her flowers. Or drop by and surprise her with some. You can pick some pretty flowers for free or get some inexpensive flowers or plants at the local grocery store. A little something beautiful goes a long way for a loving mother missing her child.
- Treat her to breakfast in bed, a manicure or pedicure. Something that she possibly may have gotten from her child if she had been given the opportunity. Chances are, this is something that she would never do for herself. Remember, she is under a great deal of stress that no-one else but her can understand.
These are just some thoughts and ideas. You can get as creative as you want. What would be good for one mom may not be good for another depending on her unique situation and feelings. Use your best judgment. Regardless, showing that you love and care can never be wrong. As they say, it is the thought that counts. And, it counts more than you could ever imagine.
Dear Daughter: Happy Mother’s Day and Yes, I know you love me
Dear Daughter:
Another Mother’s Day is fast approaching. Last Mother’s Day, 2013, we were prevented by others from being together on Mother’s Day for the first time in our lives. Despite both of us putting in our best efforts to try and see each other. You tried as hard as I did to make seeing each other possible. We did our best so it is not our fault.
I am afraid that I won’t be able to make the trip to see you this year. I simply don’t have the money to travel this year. To be honest, I am afraid that even if I could afford to travel, others would try to prevent us from being together again.
This would hurt me beyond words. Jumping through hoop after hoop with the hope of being able to see you. Like I did last year. Trying my best to play the game. Being at the mercy of others. Only to be let down. Again and again. Last year shattered my heart and I know it hurt you too. Mother’s Day was supposed to be our special day and I was not even allowed to speak to you.
Daughter, you will learn one day, that there are people in this world that are just not nice. Sometimes these people will be strangers who you don’t even know. Sometimes they will be acquaintences such as co-workers or friends of friends. But, sometimes, they will be people who you love. People who you care about and who are very close to you. Listen to your gut and trust it. If it feels wrong, it is.
People like this are broken inside where you cannot see. They enjoy hurting others and causing them pain. They enjoy playing games and manipulating others feelings. These are people that are insecure, selfish, vindictive and jealous. Sometimes they just have no feelings, empathy or conscious so it does not bother them to hurt someone else.
Know that people such as this are so unhappy with themselves on the inside, even if they appear happy and normal on the outside, that they derive pleasure by manipulating, controlling and hurting others. They feel joy when they cause others pain. I know it is hard to believe this. Especially if it is someone close to us that is causing us this pain. The reason it is hard to believe is because we are not like this at all. So, it is hard for us to understand – or even believe – that someone else could be this way. But, they are.
You have asked me before if I know that you love me. It is usually after we have not been talking or seeing each other. Or, when you don’t call me or respond to my messages for a long time. It is usually after I sometimes get upset because I don’t hear from you and I miss you so badly. And then after I apologize to you for getting upset, you will sometimes reflect on things and then ask me if I know you love me.
I think what you are trying to tell me is that you love me no matter what. That you are aware, deep down, on some level, that what has happened to us is not right and is not OK. That even though you are probably confused and not sure how, why and when everything got so messed up, that you know, deep down in your heart, that it is not normal or OK for a mother and daughter to be separated like this.
What I want you to know, daughter, is that, yes, I do know that you love me. Even if you don’t tell me. Even if you don’t call me. Even if you don’t see me. Even if you don’t respond to my calls, messages and texts. Even if you love and care about others that have hurt me. Yes, I do know that you love me. And, I love you.
I love you even if you don’t tell me that you love me. I love you even if you don’t call me. I love you even if you don’t see me. I love you even if you ignore my calls, texts and messages. I love you even if you say that you have not received my messages, calls and texts when I know that you have. I love you even if you care and love others who have hurt me and made me sad.
Daughter, my love for you is unconditional and always will be. I may not always be the perfect mother, but my love for you IS perfect. I won’t pretend that not seeing you for two Mother’s Day weekends in a row won’t hurt me. It will. It will be a very rough day for me. It will make me very sad that you are once again spending your Mother’s Day weekend with a new step-mother instead of me, the mother who raised you alone since birth. But, I will know that you love me. And, I love you.
FAMILY COURT VICTIM 